TMZ Produces Mariah Carey Diva Rumors In A Mind-Boggling One Hour

If you’re a celebrity, you have a permanent record with no statute of limitations. Anything you say, no matter how off-the-cuff or in-the-past or forgotten-about, can be used against you, particularly if you’ve just scored a particularly awesome career coup.

Let’s apply this to American Idol and shows like that. When Britney Spears landed a judging spot on The X Factor–or, to be specific, when her judging spot was all but confirmed, hinging only on how many millions she’d get–the hand-wringing seemed like it started right away. Was she suitable to judge? Was she being a diva? Was she breaking down? You could practically get minute-by-minute reports, even before the first episodes were filmed. (We’re as guilty as anyone here, if only secondhand.)

Now that you’re remembering that whole pleasant news cycle, savor it, because it’s downright leisurely. Entire days before the rumors start? When Mariah Carey was confirmed as an Idol judge, the whole thing took less than one hour. Let’s just look at the timeline:

- Noonish Pacific time: Fox announces at the Television Critics Association’s summer press tour that Carey would judge.

- 12:08 p.m. Pacific time: News outlets start reporting it: TVLine at 12:03 p.m., Zap2It at 12:08 p.m., TMZ themselves also at 12:08 p.m., with a story saying the announcement happened “moments ago.”

- 12:35 p.m. Pacific time: TMZ follows up with this headline: Mariah Carey: *NIGHTMARE* to Work With (Exclusive) . (Stars indicate massive tabloidy font size.)

Sure, the story was about her past stint as an Idol guest mentor, which was apparently established as nightmarish. Sure, TMZ probably did some pre-reporting on this when Carey’s name was a frontrunner. Sure, the prospect of Mariah Carey, pop’s foremost expert at shade, acting like a diva on set is about as surprising a story as Simon Cowell being snide or Steven Tyler making lewd remarks backstage. We would still like to point out: one hour. Rounded up, even. We await Mariah Carey’s PR people weighing in by 6 p.m. today, shocking footage by tomorrow morning, some waffly Randy Jackson quote afterward, assistants pro- and anti- by Wednesday and possibly an Eminem diss by Friday. That way, we can get the whole diva-acts-divalike arc finished even before Carey steps in front of the camera. It’s what the world wants to read, after all.

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